iObserve
by xxjourney
Summary: Sam and Freddie are being downright mean to each other, and Carly gushes all about it in her diary.
1. Dear Diary

January 15, 2009  
8:42 PM

Dear Diary,

Sooo Spencer got me this old-school diary for my birthday earlier today...er, "you," I guess. Whatever. Well, as you can probably tell, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Yeah, I know. Epic. I'm fifteen today and already bugging Spencer to teach me to drive, hehe.

I sneaked (I'm a sucker for good grammer) away from my party to try out this whole diary thing. Strange as it seems, I've never had one of these things -- I never really needed one. I confide in Sam, and, way before her, that nasty Missy. Well, back when she wasn't nasty. When she was just Missy.

Anyway, I'm kind of glad Spencer gave me this thing, because lately strange things have been happening. I mean, stuff I can't tell Sam. Hey, get your paper mind out of the gutter!

OH WAIT! I should give you a proper introduction. I'm Carly Shay, the costar of THE most awesome site on the web, iCarly dot com. I host it with Sam, my blonde headed and devious best friend, and Freddie, my other best friend, neighbor, and not-so-secret admirer, is our tech producer. I live with my brother, Spencer, who is one sick sculptor. Seriously, Paper Book, you should check it out. Nice stuff. My dad's in the military and my mom moved to California after she and my dad got divorced, and we don't talk much.

What do I look like? A girl. I've got hair and eyes and a mouth and stuff. And this really cool thing called a nose. Sorry you don't have one, it's a great invention. Thanks, God!

That's really just the basic stuff, by the way, you'll learn more as I go on.

But yeah! Back to the subject on hand -- strange things. Sorry I've been rambling, I'm distracted by the loud music and presents and cake and (unfortunately) Gibby running around shirtless. I'm upstairs in my room and can't see anything, but I know he is.

STRANGE THINGS. My God, Paper Book. Keep me on track. OKAY. Lately, Sam and Freddie (you know them) are being a lot more nasty toward another. Naturally, they bicker, since they're clashing personalities, but it's gotten really, really bad the past couple of weeks. I've been trying to talk to Sam about it, but she ignores me when I ask or changes the subject. Freddie does the same thing. I hate not being kept in the loop. Spencer's kind of useless right now about this stuff, buhcuz he's into this new girl Rebecca and going through the "honeymoon phase," so he can't concentrate on anything other than her.

How bad are they, you ask? I'll explain later -- I hear people yelling "SAM! NO!" so I should probably leave before a riot ensues or everyone dies.

Peace.

* * *

I kind of hate the title...if you've got anything better in mind, hit me up. (:


	2. Let Me Explain

January 15, 2009  
11:28 PM

Dear Diary,

Okay, party's been over for a while now, and I guess I can tell you about what's been going on. Sam's staying the night, but she's already asleep. Oh, and she was trying to eat the entire cake earlier; that's why everyone was getting upset.

Like I said, she and Freddie are always fighting. Always. For as long as I've known the two of them, they've been bickering about one thing or another -- it pretty much started when Freddie started ogling over me and Sam wanted him to man up and accept the fact that I don't like him that way. I tried being nice about it, like pulling him aside and explaining why I don't feel the same way, but that didn't work. When Sam noticed, she decided to try her hand at getting across to him, usually through put downs and insults. Sam's vicious with everyone, so I didn't really see much of a reason to intervene, except the time a few months ago when she told pretty much the entire world that he never kissed anyone on our webshow...but she fixed that, so I thought they'd be getting along at least slightly better, which they were. Well, if you don't include when we went to Lucas's/Fred's house in Idaho. She seriously beat Freddie up. It was so bad I thought I'd get a black eye just because there was so much hurt left over, you know?

But other than that one incident, Sam and Freddie weren't hurting each other badly. Just verbally, mostly. Up until about three weeks ago. All of a sudden Sam would start scowling when he came into the room, Freddie would completely ignore her at school -- stuff like that. Weird, right? Even when they were angry with each other they never ignored each others' existence. It was even more awkward when we filmed iCarly, since Sam would avoid looking at the camera just because Freddie was holding it. He wouldn't laugh at the jokes she made, and I was caught in the middle.

When the strange behavior started, I asked Sam what was going on. "Nothing," she told me, then tried to ask if I bought any sausage within the last week. I let it slide, threw her some pork, and didn't think much of the situation until Freddie started avoiding me. Then I was totally thrown off. I know it was because Sam and I are always joined at the hip and he figured that she'd be over at my house, which she was, whenever possible. So I confronted him a few days after Sam in the halls after his AV club meeting and my Students of the Future meeting were both over.

"Hey Freddie," I said, joining him at his locker.

"Hi, Carly," he grumbled, shoving a book into his backpack.

I frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"

He slammed his locker door shut, loudly. "No, I'm just not having a very good day."

"Oh." We walked out the school doors in an awkward silence. Well, I guess it was awkward on my part -- for him, it was angry.

"Did Sam do something?"

Freddie stopped so suddenly I almost slammed into him (I was walking behind him; he was walking too fast and I was catching up). His jaw clenched and he exhaled angrily. "No," he replied. Ice.

"Are you sure? 'Cause you guys've been acting kind of funny lately, and I -- "

"Yes, Carly, I'm sure! Can we not talk about Sam?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and furrowed my brow. "Fine," I agreed bitterly. "But you don't have to be such a bitch about it."

Freddie softened as we continued walking. "I'm sorry. It's just -- I don't know. I can't really explain it."

I shrugged. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you even more mad."

"It's cool, I guess. How was your meeting?"

And that was basically how he avoided the situation. I tried asking his AV club friends what went on that day in the meeting, and they all said the same thing: he had come in kind of miffed but none of them knew what was going on. I've been doing "research" on the subject -- you know, asking the people in Sam's and Freddie's classes if they knew anything -- but I haven't come up with anything other than that they were getting kind of close prior to this situation. Funny, I hadn't noticed them all chummy beforehand. I guess they tried to stay the normal Sam and Freddie I knew around me.

But I still don't get why they're being so evil to each other.

Oh, and it's not just the silent treatment. When they do talk to each other, it's usually screaming about something. Like, Sam would say, "Move away from the TV, Fredward," and he'd reply with, "Why, Sam? Can you not see anything? Do you want to know what is going on?" and she'd tell him, "Yeah, actually. I would love to. But there's this block in the way that thinks it knows everything in my way!" And it'd escalate from there until they were yelling so loudly I had to send Freddie home for fear he wouldn't make it if he stayed here.

When they're away from each other, they're cool. Like, I still hang out with Sam and Freddie individually. But when they're together -- we've got WWIII or some kind of mime show going on. It's the worst for me -- I mean, they don't, like, make me choose between them, but it's soooo awkward! I'm stuck in the middle, and, like I said, I can't talk to Spencer.

Ugh. Well, I guess I should go to sleep now.

I don't know when I'll write again.

Bye bye, Paper Book.

* * *

This'll be updated as often as Carly writes in her diary: for example, if she uses it again three days from now, that's when the next update will be.

Review, if you wanna. (:


	3. Wendy

January 20, 2009  
4:28 pm

Dear Diary,

Sorry! I know, I haven't said anything for the past few days, but there really hasn't been much to say. I haven't gotten very far in the Sam and Freddie case -- which I've decided to rename Operation Angry -- and school's been your typical bore. I did, however, get the new Cuttlefish CD earlier today! God, they're amazing, Paper Book. I wish I could drum like Howie or play guitar like Stefan. Ew, I just realized how ugly their names are...

Anyway, I'm still trying to keep Sam and Freddie from murdering each other with their dagger glares and icy silences. Sam's always over, so I hardly ever see Freddie anymore. We're supposed to do an iCarly rehearsal in about two and a half hours, and I'm praying we're able to get through it sans bloodshed.

Oh, you like that phrase? "Sans bloodshed." I read it in a book somewhere and I want to use it as much as I possibly can without seeming like a weirdo.

Well, I guess I've rambled enough for one afternoon, and I know Sam must be starving. I'll be back after rehearsal.

Ciao.

*SAME DAY*

8:05 pm

Dear Diary,

Rehearsal took longer than usual. Why, you ask? Sam and Freddie were being -- nice. Er, I think "civil" would be more the word. They communicated. They laughed. I was standing there like an idiot, wondering what the banana happened to Operation Angry! It was awkward, to say the least. They're probably covering something. They have to be. There's no other reason for them to all of a sudden to be friends again. It's not like when they were friends they actually acted like it, so that's even more of a stretch, you know?

I'm going to have to call in the big guns -- Wendy. She knows everything about everyone, and she has to know something about what's going on. I'll call her later. I haven't talked to her because she and her family have been on a six week cruise to Cabo. Seriously, who takes a six week cruise in the middle of a school year?? Whatever. I hear the weather there is great, and I'm sure she still has her secret connections over here in ol' Seattle. I'd get the details from them, but Wendy's super secretive.

I'll let you know more after our phone call.

Donde esta.

*SAME DAY*

10:57 pm

Dear Diary,

I've kind of got a problem with Sam...but I'll tell you more about that after I tell you about my phone convo with Wendy.

She helped. Severely. I was right, she did have her secret connections back home, feeding her information while she sunned in Mexico. This was generally how our conversation went:

"Hello?" I could hear mariachi music playing really loudly and people laughing.

"Hi, Wendy. It's Carly."

"Oh! Hi, Carly! Hang on, it's really loud over here -- let me move somewhere quieter." The volume lowered as she moved away from what seemed like a party.

"What's up?" she asked.

I flicked my nails. "Do you know what's going on with Sam and Freddie?"

"Didn't you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"They're in love." I almost choked, and Wendy started laughing hysterically.

"Oh my God, Wendy," I told her, rolling my eyes. "You're so full of it."

"Ahh, Shay," she said, still giggling a little bit, "That was too easy."

"Are you drunk?" I blurted.

"Am I -- ? No! Not on alcohol, anyway. This Mexican air makes me giddy. Plus I smashed a pinata, and hellooo candehh!" (that was how she said it)

"Oh. Okay then. But seriously, Wendy. Have your 'connections' given you any info?"

"Yeah, actually." I heard some rustling around and a notebook open. So she keeps notes on this stuff? Of course! That makes sense.

"So they're being silent or yell-y, right?"

"Right. Do you know why?"

"Carly, do you know me?" she asked, jokingly.

I laughed. "You are Wendy."

"Don't you forget it! Okay, it turns out that they were scheming something -- I haven't found out what -- and all of a sudden they just decided to stop, but Freddie was anxious to pull through with it, and Sam was being Sam, so she told him no, that it was never going to work. I don't know what they were talking about, though. That's seriously all I've gotten. Sorry, I guess."

"No!" I said, a little too enthusiastically. "No, heh. It's more than I knew before. Thanks. So how's your cruise?"

"Awesome! There're parties and stuff every night. The booze flows freely. I mean, come on. Seattle who?"

I smiled. "I take it your having a good time?"

"Hell yeah! I got you a present, too."

"Frill?"

"For real. I got Sam some guacamole and salsa and chips and stuff."

"No way. She's going to die. Sam loves Mexican."

"And Italian, and Chinese..." We both laughed.

"Alright, Wend-o. I guess I better let you go back to your party."

"Okay. It was great talking to you, Carly. I'll be home by next week."

"Sweet. Thanks for the info on Sam and Freddie."

"No problem. See you next week."

"Ditto. Bye, Wendehh."

"Peace out, Carlehhh."

Aaand then Sam said, "What info?"

I got scared and pretended to be asleep. "Huh?" I asked, acting groggy.

"You heard me. You suck at pretending, by the way. You haven't changed your clothes and the light's been on the whole time. You 'fell asleep'?"

"Heh," I said, trying to change the subject. "Every sentence you just said started with 'you.'"

"Carly, what were you talking about with Wendy?"

I sighed. "I don't know what's going on with you and Freddie, and neither of you are telling me what's going on."

"So you called Wendy?" Sam was getting angry. Very, very angry.

"Well, yeah, I guess."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing," I lied. "Turns out her spies didn't even know you guys were fighting, heh."

"Then why did you say 'thanks for the info'?"

"She said she brought you presents, and she told me what they were."

Sam shook her head. "Seriously, Carly, if I wanted you to know I'd tell you."

She left in a huff, slamming my bedroom door, storming down the stairs, and slamming the front door. Spencer yelled some nonsense, so I'm assuming she woke him up.

I don't care if Sam is being secretive. I'm going to uncover the root of Operation Angry if its the last thing I do.

I'm gonna go take a shower and get to sleep.

TTYL, Paper Book.

* * *

I don't know if "sans bloodshed" is actually from a book.


End file.
